Bumpy Road Ahead
As we enter an election year in the United States we might have the expectation that there is a bumpy road ahead. There is a palpable sense that constructive dialog and genuine civic partnership are impossible in the current climate of controversy. Some say that we live in a “polarized society.” I find the implicit reductionism of this claim offensive. Rather than a black/white (or perhaps, “red/blue”) juxtaposition of polar opposites, I submit that we are a vivid palette of brilliant colors as defined by any ideological metric.
Few public discussions of this historic divide entertain the social and psychological drivers of civic conflict. There is a lot of pain and despair in this country. Abuse of opioids (natural and synthetic), as well as other controlled substances, descent into uncritical belief in conspiracy theories, cult-like social movements, widespread depression, possibly even “mass psychosis,” were already ascendant before the pandemic. However, the pandemic only accelerated and amplified the social damage. We all know or know of relatives, friends, colleagues at work, or neighbors with whom we cannot even talk because of our various ideological differences. We tend to view each other as symbols of some opposing party or attitude. We call each other various names. However, I don’t believe that we can achieve worthwhile goals while objectifying others. The real enemies to peaceful solidarity are despair, cynicism, and nihilism. Bad actors feed off these conditions. Such views, when widespread, are subject to memes and suggestions that exacerbate those negative states of mind and reinforce distrust. Many people have given up on the American Project altogether and seem prepared to vote to severely limit our personal agency.
Some of you might be familiar with Daryl Davis, a black blues musician, who was personally driven to understand the human motivations for racism. His quest led him to meet with members of the KKK, at one point befriending the Imperial Wizard of the Maryland Klan. His approach was sincere. He had many intimate discussions with the Imperial Wizard about his views and thereby built trust. They would even go to KKK meetings together. Ultimately, the Imperial Wizard abandoned the KKK, giving Mr. Davis his robes.
The takeaway from this story is that talking with others, allowing them to express their views without judgment, accepting them as fellow human beings, is very powerful. There is a lot of evidence that there is a growing population of Americans who want an off-ramp from their extreme views and cult-like affiliations. However, they are reluctant to admit that the beliefs that they have held so defiantly might be wrong. Finding one’s way out of darkness is delicate and full of trigger points. Daryl Davis’ example demonstrates that respect, withholding judgment, and a sincere desire to share and learn really work.
Socrates taught that the “unexamined life is not worth living.” Usually, we interpret that instruction to apply to our own inner discovery. But what about an examination of the darkness, despair, and cynicism that divides our families and communities?
Perhaps you have the proverbial “uncle at Thanksgiving dinner.” Perhaps you are the uncle. But the challenge is the same: We need to reach across our imagined ideological chasms and rebuild trust and community.
I wrote a poem at the turn of 2022 on the social turmoil caused by Covid. A few lines are universally relevant to the present topic:
Talk with someone
with whom you
disagree.
Listen to their side
of the story.
Don’t worry,
you don’t have to
concur. It is only
necessary to listen.
But listen well!
Eschew forming an
opinion.
Try to extract their concerns.
Respect the complexity
of the situation.
Proceed with great
humility…
Easier said than done. Given the challenges that lie before us, perhaps now is the time to begin the hard work of finding common ground and activating our compassion for those quietly searching for an alternative to despair.
(Posted 02/06/2024)
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